well today
WAS PRETTY AWESOME :]
i hung out with her like AALLLL day :D
we spent like 3-4 hours at her house alone LOL which pretty much felt like 1 hour xD (ahem)
LOL wafflesssss and peanuts xD hehe
spin spin spin heheh ride of your life today! LOL
i didnt know i had all that energy in me HAHAHA i bet she loveed it !
and then at night we just walked around and ate ice cream :]
pretty romantic day eh babe? hehe

so like today
i almost took off a chunk of my tongue, buuttt only scratched it thankfully.
OMFG. so scary >< EVERYTHING SLLOOOWEEEDDD DOWWWWNNN.
and now i feel so disoriented and outta place O_o
i was typing to clara and i had trouble finding some letters ><

OMFG FINALS WEEK IS OVER i feel relieved LOl
time to idk LOl
today was awesome with her :D
KINDA a date hmph :[
park was so nice :D
SLEEPYHEAD! :]

sooooooooooooooo
yesterday was ze SAT and omfg
nervous! >< im so scared im so scared to see my graddeeee
i dont wanna study for it anymore ><
break 2000! or bust! xD

and then people came over for chinese new year and yeah hehheh
a lil bit of bbq meat and some salad nd corn soup and some cousins n stuffs yeah xD
havent opened my red envelopes yet !
cant till tomrrow xD er yeah i can i usually forget and dont open them till a month later xD
lalala
saw her when me n chris were playing football and i was just like WHOA o_O SURPRISE!
shes freaking cute heheheh
especially when shes hyper too xD

this is just unbelievable...

how much do i even matter to you?
how much have i ever even meant to you...


and maybe its time to realize you have even just a little more than you think...
cause im probably not htat much...

i've seen you at better...
you're sinking down right now...
and when you say things to me it works cause... i took waht you said to heart
and cause i know.. you just want to help and make things better...
and the things you say and said just mean so much to me..

i'm not trying to hurt you...

16 Things about Me

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you're supposed to write a blog with 16 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 16 people to be tagged and pass it on!

1. Sometimes when i'm bored, I grab my airsoft rifle and patrol around the house.

2. I wish I had a different voice when I sing.

3. I almost ALWAYS hold in my farts during school, only exception is when I really have to let it out and go to the bathroom.

4. I tend to have very realistic dreams now. So real sometimes I have to make sure it was a dream.

5. I always think, and think like everything about my girlfriend is cute.

6. When no ones home I always take the chance to yell songs loud as i can.

7. I have unusual earwax. It comes fast and in big amounts. ><

8. I really wish I could fly like indiviidually, though flying a plane would be nice too.

9. I really really suck at videogames. I pretty much give up.

10. One summer day I just wanna spend the entire day driving, like across the country or like somewhere far. Road trippish.

11. Although I am open to change and willing to, it takes me a while to actually show results sometimes.

12. I do make wishes, lots.

ugh.
driving would help so much...

you can get mad at me..
you dont have to take into account everything i say...
you can hate me for it...

but just know that the truth is...
that the things i say, im not just pulling out of nowhere
and that i really do love you
and care for you....

LOOOOLLLLL
thats the first thing i have to say about today HAHAHA
so like me n her hung out today for like 4 hours and like a half! hehe all spent a park HAHA
sooo funnnyy heheheh lotsa stuff happened LOL
first of all we got caught! CAUGHT I TELL YOU LOL EMBARRASSING
theeenn the water LOL almost spit it out on me! ey now!
where am i? HAHAHHA
someone fell asleep on me today hehe
omfg today aws really fun heheh :D
havent spent time like taht in a LOONGG time!

whats this feeling?
im not really sure..

self-destructive.

am i made to be misunderstood,
or just to be a confusion, hampering people's progression?

could it be those days are gone
could've sworn that i was strong

at least tronger than these emotions
that are taking over me
i swear i'm stronger than these emotions
but they're taking over me

:/

"People can love the world because there's someone out there who's precious to them"

why do people have to put others through the same...
can't they see that it doesnt help anyone at all....
how does this make anyone else different....
can't they see that this only continues a cycle that people before us have started...
a chain that needs to be stopped...
yet it still goes on...

why....

so yesterday was the first time i hung out with her in like 3 weeks haha
it was fun :]
LOL walking back home xD "walking"
heheheh
diets workin out :]
takin out like more than 500 calories a day with it :D

whats this feeling?
uncontrollable shaking..

i didnt realize it was me that wasnt letting you in...
and knowing that i finally let up
and i feel so vulnerable
but im happy...

Well, I've got a lot of goals and things I have to do this year

Lose weight/fat
Study a crapload harder
Do ALL my work.
break 2000 SAT = studying
be a better person.

idk... i dont even
not see her for a full 24 hours, but
once im away from her i just start missing her like mad ><
like anytime im not with her :/
and its not jsut like im saying it.. but its like i really do you know?
like i jsut start thinking about her and like my heart just gets all heavy and feels all depleted, flat?
its hard to explain haha
like when she was in seattle... haha...
i guess it was kinda hard ><

i've been trying to reach you
but my extension cord wouldnt reach that far
and now you've lost your chance

i've been patiently waiting
the indicator light is flashing on
and now you've lost your chance

Are you cheat​ing on someo​ne right​ now?
Nope

Has anyon​e told you latel​y that they would​ alway​s be there​ for you?
how long is lately?

Would​ you ever get a tatto​o?​​​​
maybe

What'​​​​s your mood?​​
eh

Who was the last perso​n you talke​d to on the telep​hone?
jr

What are the chanc​es you'​​​​re pregn​ant?
0 hopefully

Do you still​ talk to the perso​n you fell harde​st for?
yeah

Do you think​ you can last in a relat​ionsh​ip for 6 month​s witho​ut cheat​ing?​​​​
yeah. and im living true to that.

What was the last thing​ you cried​ about?
my uncle

Day been rough​?​​​​
up and down.

Do you dye your hair?​​
Nope

How do you feel about​ tatto​os & pierc​ings?​​​​
i dont really like piercings on guys.
or anyones piercings in WEIRD places.

Have you ever playe​d Spin The Bottl​e?​​​​
no

Have you ever laugh​ed so hard you cried​?​​
yeah

Have you ever slept​ with one of your co- worke​rs?​​​​
nope

Plans​ for your next birth​day?​​
nothing so far

Tell me about​ the shirt​ you' re weari​ng?​​
costco.

Do you plan on going​ to colle​ge?​​​​
Yeah

Someo​ne leave​s a note and flowe​rs on your car, cute or tacky​?​​​​
cute. flowers? for me? ?!!? AWWW YOU SHOULDNT HAVE!!
xD this question is totally directed at girls

Will you be in a relat​ionsh​ip in 4 month​s?​​​​
yeah.

What color​ are your eyes?​
Dark brown

If you had the chanc​e,​​​​ would​ you move to anoth​er count​ry?​​​
eh cant think of a country.

What are you looki​ng forwa​rd to?
um idk friday i guess

If you were asked​ to be on a reali​ty tv show,​​​​ would​ you?
most likely

Do you like Quizn​os?
sure

Are you good at hidin​g your feeli​ngs?​​​​
not really. not for long anyway

Do you wave when you see peopl​e you know?​​​​
not much

Last two people​ to text you?
jay

Can you braid​ hair?​​​​
nope

Who are you disap​point​ed in right​ now?
idk. no one really.

Do you have trust​ issue​s?​​​​
im not sure

What does your 7th text messa​ge say?
its a text saved from awhile ago. i save all the cute texts she sends me.
"just wanted to tell you that i miss hearing your voice and everythiing about you :) hehe I can't stop thinking about you!"
Nov. 12th xD


What were you doing​ at 11:​​​​00 AM?
snack

What did you do today​?​​
school.

What did you do this weeke​nd?​​​​
absolutely nothing.

Name somet​hing you have in commo​n with all of your sibli​ngs?​
asian.

Who is the last perso​n who wrote​ a lette​r to you on paper​?
clara

Do you prefe​r regul​ar or choco​late milk?​​​​
chocolate

Can you whist​le?​​​​
yeah

Do you wear the hood on your hoodi​e?​​
not usually

Name somet​hing that made you frown​ today?
haha.

Why did you last laugh​ reall​y hard?
i dont recall at the moment

Are you proud​ of the perso​n you'​​​​ve becom​e?​​​​
in a few ways

Do you think​ relat​ionsh​ips are ever reall​y worth​ it?
yeah.

Can you recal​l the last time you since​rely liked​ someo​ne a lot?
yeah. freshman year around mayish juneish

Are you slowl​y drift​ing away from someo​ne?​​
idk.

The last perso​n you share​d a bed/​​​​couch​ with mean anyth​ing to you?
well we didnt sleep togetehr but we just laid there xD
babe

Have you ever falle​n aslee​p on someo​ne?​​​​
yeah

Why are you not w/ the perso​n you want?​​​​
haha. i am with the person i want. sincerely :)

Who was your last text from?
jay kim

When is the next time you’ll kiss someone?
uhhh tomorrow? haha


What is the reason behind your myspace song?
i dont remember what it is


Last thing you drank?
water

What is the last thing you said?
yeah



Are you happy right now?
im in the middle


What color are your eyes?
dark brown

If you could have one thing right now what would it be?
eh


When is your birthday?
june 2

Do you think you’ll be married in 10 years?
i dont know


How many children do you want?
two


What are your plans for the weekend?
nothing really


If you could move right now would you?
maybe


Are you happy with the way things are going now?
eh


Do you like being in pictures?
depends


What do you currently hear right now?
my computer running

Where will you be in an hour?
still here


What are you supposed to be doing right now?
studying probably

What was your new years resolution?
diet i guess

Ever been in an ambulance?
nope

Is your heart broken right now?
no


What are you looking forward to in the next month?
idk? whats coming up?


Do you think you would make a good wife/husband?
i dont know


How old are your siblings?
22, 19



Is your myspace profile private?
probaly


Who did you last tell a secret to?
umm i dont have many secrets
but if htat counts my brother?


Who else is in the room with you?
no one


Will this weekend be a good one?
i really dont know

Would you rather go to a party or go out of town?
both :O


Honestly, if you could go back 3 months and change something would you?
its not in my power to change much...
except myself


Is there anybody you wish you could be spending time with right now?
yeah.... definitely..


What is your first and middle name?
jeffrey



Who was the first person you talked / texted to today?
talked to mom, texted jay


Have you ever done something outrageously dumb?
who hasnt?

Is there someone on your mind that shouldn't be?
nope


Did you have a good day?
not really


Have you kissed more than 10 people in the last 6 months?
never even got close to that many in my life.

Do you look more like, your mom or dad?
idk people say my dad

Do you like meeting new people?
sometimes

Someone knocks on your window at 2 AM, what do you say?
depends


Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?
nope.


Have you ever wanted to be a teacher?
yeah


Do you ever think "what if" about anything?
of course.

I wonder....
if ill ever be....
but for some reason I dont think I ever will...
at least itll take a while.
I guess I was close to it once....
but then again that's on my terms.
idk about the other side...
and I feel selfish just thinking like that....
><

1. I barely even know you, but you're not the coolest shit out there. you're NOT the most original . not everyone has to listen to you or think like you. Dont think that in this world theres only your view and side of things, and get your fuckin shit straight before you say anything.
2. ALSO, YOU;'RE NOT AS COOL AS YOU THNK YOU ARE. Everything did not originate from you, you were not the first to find SO MANY THINGS. You keep getting so damn cocky n shit. I thought you said youd stopped? yeah right. And I thought you said you didnt even freaknig like having her around that much, and now you're copying her hw and shit? Seriously how much freaking hw have you done yourself this year. You'd said youd improve, but its not showing. And seroiusly, you've got it so much better than the rest of us...
3. make some freaking sense when you get mad please AT THE VERY LEAST. I dont know what the hell is going on with you but you seroiusly need to freaking THINK. PLEASE. I mean the most discomfort in this family comes from you. You dont even listen to ANYONE. Seroiusly listen to yourself for once. Truth is you aren't right about a lot of things. Yuo're just super illogical and just refuse to have reason or ANY thought. WTF. you're so caught up with the stuff in your own mind you block out EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING.

each # is a diff person. and I would write more but yeah. I think thats enough for now.

i really doubt that even the happiest person on earth
is really happy all the time.

everyones has their ups and downs

how can you be honest to people
when the people nowadays are so easily offended?
and then expressing your own feelings is now seen as selfish and self centered?
much of this world is a reverse of what many people actually say.
now, its not lieing, cause most people dont even know .
i mean trying to be what people want and being what htey want
its still never enough right?
enough to drive a person crazy.

In the long run, there's two main things that I can think of right now that's keeping me going and pushing:
1. Maybes (maybe things will get better tomrrow, maybe something will happen, etc.)
2. Love.

a lot of the times i've said
idk why i feel a certain way

but in reality i do.
I just either block it out (deny) or I just don't know whether I should tell anyone or not.

I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend,
You could cut ties with all the lies, that you've been living in,
And if you do not want to see me again, I would understand.
I would understand.

Can you put the past away?
I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend,
I would understand


third eye blind - jumper
recently sang by jim carey in "yesman"

my dreams are getting short .
but they keep getting realer and realer
its getting hard to distinguish between what I did in the dream
and what I acutally did...



Let me out let me out I'm screamin
let me out let me out I'm screaming.

Go on and save yourself
take it out on me

Go on and save yourself
take it out on me

how can you tell if you really know someone?
how can you tell how much you know someone

its really not possible to be certain.


For all we know, some things thought were real could be fake
things thought to be fake could be real
or erverything could be either fake or real
or perhaps everythings a dream, imagined by people
and when they die they wake up in their true life
or maybe you really do only live once
or when the impossible becomes possible its all just something created in our minds?

I could be typing on a laptop keyboard right now
or people are curiously watching me tapping on a rock or block of wood

How do we choose the people we associate with?

maybe we're all fake or real
or we're unconsciously hiding from our real selves, but for some, consciously.
fooling ourselves
What IS real?

Happy New Year 2009!

yeah. today was alright i guess.