am i really that horrible of a person...

im scared...

and im also scared to take action....

i seroiusly need to find some direction in my life.....

ugh

im starting to hate who i am now....
how can i say whats really on my mind?

ugh.
wtf do i wanna do with my life?
idk what i wanna major in, i dont know at all what im leaning towards either.
i get all sad when i think about it caues like most people know what they wana do by now
i mean college is coming soon, and if not they at least lean towards a side you know?
what am i meant to do?

soooo

homecoming: i had fun, yet the dance like in general wasnt too great heheh
LOL IM LAME AT DANCING HAHAHAA
omgomgomgomg she looked sooo pretty and and and beautiful today :] first tiem ive seen her like that too! :D sooo pretty heheh
so it was cool cause i like carried her almost all the way back to cristinas heheh :]
macaroni grill was pretty funny too LOL everythigns starting to taste the same!
i love her <3 :] *wanted to make special note of that!

soo that was like my first dance EVER LOL
heheh i feel so deprived xD

we're jumping to know the truth
and we're lying to say to you
now we've got it

We're so far from the words tonight
that could then break the walls we hide
now we've got it

so yeah....

aasdflj :/


i dont know what to do.....

vindicated....?

um.. yeah..... okay.............


ahh...


man.....



tired. tired. tired. tired.tired.

"And honestly, I cant see me, without you by my side
And I realize what I got, more than ever now
no matter how far away, i will stay true to you

Cause I don't wanna kiss nobody, if i can't be kissing you
I don't wanna hold nobody, if I can't be holding you"

yeah......

i feel so...

why?

why is it that when you're straight with people....
it causes so much trouble...



miscommunication.

seroiusly...
what a day.

and thats all im gna say.

so like i guess ive made some improvements?
in the sense where i dont let things bother my schooolwork and studies.
but yeah...

or maybe im just thinking too much.
like always right?
who knows...


its hard to keep yourself occupied to avoid something, when that something IS whats occupying you.

i needa take a huge shit.

how can i tell her everything when iwas trying to surprise her?
without telling her what ive been planning for this year?
i just got pretty much owned yesterday...
sadfjdsafk ugh..

now wtf am i supposed to do....

why does this keep happening... -__-

i mean seriously..

what do i keep doing wrong?
what is it about me?

im sooo tireed....

maaan, i hate school ><

only just started toooo *sigghh :/

i just wanna sleeeeeeepp

i dont ask for much..
and theres things that i miss..

but i guess i just dont deserve taht anymore?

"as in life, chill for best results"

*edit
well.. i just prayed to help release me of all my tensions, to help me effectively get rid of my anger, to calm down.
i cant believe i just prayed?
----------------------------
anger is my worst enemy.

i need a way to just get rid of it.

or ill never get anywhere. or ill always be stuck here just feeling angry you know?

asdfjkl okay.
needa get myself together. i cant keep losing myself.
i dont want to be the guy whose anger drives everyone away.
i dont want to.i really dont..